The Happy Highs and the Lonely Lows

These are my own highs and lows of being a mother. It’s so good, but comes with some challenges.

The Lows:

Lonely. I have had some of the loneliest days being a mom. I never knew just how much I relied on adult interaction. It can be so hard to not talk to anyone all day but a baby, or a 4 year old. You really have to put yourself out there and get out everyday to talk and be part of the community. It can be really hard at times. I’ve gotten depressed over being lonely. 

Getting ABSOLUTELY NOTHING done. Some days are just spent keeping the kids alive. They always need something from you. ALWAYS. even if you’ve gone out of your way to make them comfortable before you sit down and start working in that scrapbook that you’ve been trying to finish for 4 years. You might get lots of things started, but nothing seems to get finished. And if you do start something your children need to be in your lap at that moment. It’s also hard feeling productive. Some days are completely dedicated to your kids and even though you’ve cleaned noses, wiped butts, picked up toys, made dinner, started laundry, started a project, changed clothes, gave baths, read a story, played hide-n-seek, gave hugs, cured boo-boos, and wiped tears, it seems unfulfilling and repetitive.

Speaking of in your lap, Space. Oh my gosh. I’m excited for my kids to go to bed just so they’ll stop touching me. No matter where I am, they find me, and sit on me. If I’m on the couch they are right there! Every time. I mean, I love my cuddles, but I hate being climbed on all day. I am not a jungle gym. Every room in the house seems to belong to them, even if you didn’t intend it that way. Somehow your very nice ________ (everything) becomes theirs. They always find me when I have to go to the bathroom. You just want some space.
Messy. Everything is messy, all the time. They are so destructive. Destroy is their motto. I mean why do you need to beat the DVD case against the TV? Or tear all the ornaments off my tree? OR empty the box of Cheerios all over the floor. Nothing is safe. And you always think “they can’t hurt that”…..oh, but they can! I clean the house 5 times a day, and if I don’t it looks like I haven’t cleaned it in a week. Asking them to pick anything up is just as exhausting as doing it yourself, but you want to teach them good habits so you involve them anyway.


The Highs:

They’re MINE: They love me more than anything (right now). They come to ME when they’re feeling down, hurt, afraid, and tired. That makes me feel so special. I am their number one. I created them and brought them into the world. That’s magical stuff right there!

Discovering yourself. My kids have taught me so much in the 4 years that I’ve been a mom. I’ve learned service, and what it truly means to put someone else’s needs before your own. I make sure everyone is fed before I start eating my dinner sometimes, and boy can I get Hangry!

I’ve learned patience. So much patience. I’m still not completely patient. There is soooo much more patience to be had. But I’m learning it….that’s for sure!

I’ve learned Humility. There’s nothing more humbling then a 4 year old putting you in your place. How are kids so smart? She humbles me everyday.

I’ve learned how to be the person my kids need to be even if it puts me outside my comfort zone. I also want to be the person that my kids look up to and see as their hero or example. I’ve tried to emulate that person through prayer, scripture study, and being a force for good and optimistic.

Love. You learn so much about love and how much your heart can love. With each addition to my family I have that much more to lose in life. I love them more than anything. I would do anything for them. My heart aches when they are hurting or frustrated or can’t understand something. You just want to do everything for them, but teach them how to do it on their own at the same time.

Cute. They’re cute. So much cuteness. I love hearing my daughter talk to me about her day in complete sentences. Or how she asks me questions about life. I love to watch my 1 year old push toys around the house and learning what to do when he hits a wall, or how he watches Rae with the expression “what the heck are you doing”?

Alexander 2017 (22 of 24)

I guess I’ll keep them. 🙂


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